Integrated Preparation for the New Year

New Years (winter solstice) is my favorite holiday. As a long time yin yoga teacher and student of all things ‘yin’, I’m enamored with darkness, mystery, turning inward, quiet reflection, gentle subterranean preparation, etc. I actually find these things necessary for my survival and proper functioning. So, to set my year up right, I like to do some self inventory, some intention setting, and maybe even give myself some exercises and some field work. Perhaps we could call it Integrated Preparation.

This year, I really wanted to do some work with my teacher’s newest book, Presence Based Leadership. His name is Doug Silsbee, and he passed earlier this year, which makes this book all the more special to me. I’ve been working with the concepts in the book since he introduced them to us in late 2017, and think that this new years is a perfect excuse for a deep dive. In particular, I’m interested in his dynamic, nested systems of the self; context, identity, and soma. It’s possible we’ve also worked with these ideas together. But I simply love the clarity and perspective that they offer. They give me the resource to look at myself in ways I wouldn’t ordinarily.

Here is a diagram of the nested systems: https://presencebasedcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/Download/9-Panes-Practice-Lab/cis.pdf
Here is an excerpt from the book, detailing the systems: https://presencebasedcoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/Books/chapter-4-pbl.pdf

This model seems particularly useful for those of us who are batting around the term ‘Integration’. 2018 has been quite a trip, and bringing the lessons we’ve learned into a wiser, kinder 2019 is no small feat.

So my question for myself, and for you, is how do we want to shift these three areas of our life in this new year?

You’re welcome to use these as journaling prompts….

Context:
What situations am I currently in, and how do I feel about them?
How have I been contributing to them, for better or worse?
How would I like to see these situations shift in this upcoming year?
In a perfect world how are those situations presenting themselves in my life as we begin the new year?

Identity:
Who have I been being in the past year?
What are some of my primary pieces of negative self talk?
What have I been attempting to present to the world over the past 12 months?
What parts of my identity have I been protecting or hiding?
What parts of my identity do people miss about me?
Who do I want to be in new year, in the various aspects of my life as described in the ‘context’ section.
What parts of me would change if my situation changed?

Soma:
How have I been holding tension?
What have I been doing to not feel that tension?
How is that tension is response to the negative self talk described above in the ‘identity’ section?
How is the tension in response to some part of my context?
How does the person I identify with sit, stand, and move in the world?
How would the person I want to be sit, stand, and move in the world?

I could go on and on with these. I’ll give you a brief example from my own life, nothing too extreme, and probably relatable:

When I am in a situation that is difficult for me, or at what I believe is the edge of my ability, (context)
I get into negative self talk about my worthiness, and my ability to solve problems elegantly. I start to believe I’m more of a blunt instrument, that has to solve things by brute force. (identity)
My upper chest and arms get tense, i lean forward as if to go into attack mode, my jaw tenses and my fingers tense up as if to try to grab and control. (soma)

Of course these things usually happen on a subtle level, but through a kind of meditative attention, I can start to get a fuller picture of what is happening with me in the moment.

What to do?
I don’t want to stop having challenging situations. I want to continue to work at an edge that keeps me growing. I just want to handle them better (hopefully this is also relatable for you!)
The person I want to be is more secure about their ability to generate elegant, sophisticated, and lovely solutions to life’s problems. He is increasingly soft, flexible, and pliant through his tissues. He sits in his center, not rushing forward to control, allowing things to flow.

Of course that takes practice
This is going to be a big part of my personal practice this year. I’ll be focusing on it though my meditation and physical practices, so that I have a greater chance of living this way in my daily life. I won’t bore you wit the details.

Suggestions for you to facilitate Integrated Preparation.
I truly hope you’ll try to answer some of these questions, and to look at yourself using these lenses. I’d like to suggest two things:

• First, that you especially look at the way you’ve been talking to yourself, and see if there are places that you’d like to make a shift there. Make some new mantras, with some more positive and uplifting language.
• Second, Take some time with your body language. Sit, stand, walk as the person you hope to be in 2019.

Good Luck, and please let me know these integrated preparation practices goes. If you’re interested in working with me on some of these ideas, of course I’m here for you.

Best wishes for the new year! Daniel